LadyLike's
Profile
Name: Linda
Lewis
Age:
35
Profession:
Aviation
Residence: Western
Michigan
Height: 5'
8"
Weight:
145#
Measurements:
36-27-38, Sz: 10/12
Shoe
size: 10
Favorite Things
Shoe
style: 3-4" pumps and boots
Perfume: Truly
Lace
Movie: Star
Trek 1-6, War of the Worlds
Music: Stevie
Nicks, Classical
Place: Chicago, San
Antonio
Turn-Ons: Beautiful
lingerie and outfits; meeting my sisters at
events;
becoming
Linda.
Turn-Offs: The
negative attitudes society has, in general, about
crossdressing.
LadyLike: As with
almost every crossdresser, you started early with your sister's and
mother's lingerie. You got caught several times and were lectured
about appropriate clothing for boys. How did that make you feel and
why did you keep going back?
Linda
Lewis: My dressing began when I was 8 or 9 years old. The items
I started with were my mother's and sister's bra and panties. I
would take these out of the laundry and sneak them back to my room
where, after I went to bed, I would try them on. Just wearing the
bra and panties made me feel wonderful and happy. I felt like I was
just one of the girls. I would use rolled up socks or T-shirts to
fill out the bra. I didn't use makeup until I was in my
teens.
My older
sister eventually moved out, but she left a lot of clothes behind.
My parents packed them away in the basement. That was when I finally
got the rest of the clothes I wanted; skirts, blouses, dresses, and
lots of lingerie. My parents would find the clothes in my room and
take them back to the basement. Then I would be lectured that it
wasn't right for a boy to wear girl's clothes. I was never tild why
it wasn't right, but I had better stop it before something bad would
happen. I felt hurt and angry, but mostly confused because I
couldn't see why it was wrong.
I would try
to do as I was told, but after a few weeks, I'd get the urge and it
would start all over again. I'd get the clothes out of the basement,
then my parents would find them again and I'd get the lecture, etc.
etc.
This was
how my dressing went most of the time until I graduated high
school.
LL: Well, it does look as if all that
reading paid off. But, back to high school. After you graduated, you
were caught dressing again. What happened this
time?
Linda L: I asked for a camera as a high school graduation
present from my parents. My best friend at school taught me how to
develope film and print pictures. So, after I learned how to use the
camera, I started taking B&W photos of myself dressed up. With
money I earned from working, I set up a darkroom in the
basement.
I started
dressing almost every night and took rolls and rolls of pictures.
Not all the pictures were good, but when I saw one I thought was
good enough, I'd print it and keep it. At one time, I had over 500
8x10s in my collection.
As you
might guess, my parents found the pictures and all Hell broke loose.
My father wouldn't talk to me. My mother was hurt. They decided I
should see a psychologist. What hurt was that they didn't tell me
about the appointment, or that they'd told the psychologist all
about my earlier dressing. This was a real blow to my self-esteem.
Here was a stranger who knew about my secret life and he was going
to help me be rid of it.
I didn't
care for the way he questioned me. We talked about my sisters and if
I was jealous of them and if I liked my parents. That was it. I
never went back again and I was angry with my parents.
But, I
finally realized later that they did this out of love. I don't know
what the psychologist told them, but they finally stopped asking
what I was doing.
I felt
alone after this. There wasn't a way for me to find out why I
dressed and why society felt it was wrong for males to do this
because there just wasn't any material on the subject in any of the
libraries. It was just "wrong" and we were as bad as
criminals.
LL:
How did it feel to
finally get your own place again and be able to set Linda
free?
Linda
L: I moved in with my sister and her family for a few months
until I could afford an appartment on my own. Finally, though, I was
on my own, to do as I pleased, and develop Linda.
Slowly, I
replaced all the old clothes. I would wait months to save enough
money to buy what I wanted. I also got some padding for my hips and
real breastforms do Linda would have a more feminine
figure.
I was still
developing my own photos and I was pleased with what I was seeing.
After just a few years on my own, Linda had changed into the person
you see today.
LL: What about your relationship with your family
now? Any girlfriends?
Linda
L: We have a silent understanding; we just don't talk about it.
I know that my mother still suspects I dress because she notices
things like my eyebrows. My father doesn't mention the past and
seems to accept me as I am. I help him whenever I can and I am "the
son" whenever I am with him. I hurt him enough before and I don't
want to again. We're good friends again.
I told my
older sister about my dressing and that I'd been doing it all along
since we were children, She said that she suspected, but didn't want
to confront me. She's glad I told her, but she's not ready to meet
Linda yet.
My younger
sister probably couldn't handle it because of her own problems, so I
probably won't tell her. She has a way of saying exactly what's on
her mind and I wouldn't want her telling strangers that her brother
wears women's clothes.
I haven't
had much luck with girlfriends, and the few male friends I have
don't know about my crossdressing, so, no one knows about Linda. I
do find it lonely not being able to share Linda with someone close
to me, but that's my decision. Maybe that will change
soon.
Linda
L: I'd like to be able to come and go from my apartment as
Linda and go shopping or take in a movie with my sister. I'd like to
be able to go for a walk in the daytime and be "ignored", that is to
be accepted as the woman I appear to be. I'd really like to share
Linda with my parents and have them accept that this is a part of
me; that I'm still the same person they raised and that I love them
no matter what clothes I have on at the time. I'd like to see
society become more accepting of the crossdressing lifestyle and to
know that those who are crossdressers are really nice people after
all.
LL: Your mother
sold cosmetics and eventually went on to cosmetology school. Did
this have any effect on your
crossdressing?
Linda
L: During my teens my mother sold cosmetics door to door. She
had a large case of samples to give her customers. After a while,
she'd have throw out old samples or discontinued items. This was how
I came by my first makeup items and how I started experimenting with
colors and clothes to see what looked good. I had an old wig my
mother used on Halloween, so I finally looked like a girl. I wish I
had some pictures from that time to see what I really looked
like.
The
cosmetics thing only last a few years and then my mother went to
cosmetology school to become a beautician. Part of the training was
hair styling and cutting which she did using old wigs she'd buy at
thrift stores. This is how I came to have my first really good wig.
I always wanted to be a blonde, so those were the wigs I'd look for
in the bunches she brought home. Sometimes she'd bring home a wig
that was just the right color and style I wanted, then, before my
eyes, she'd start cutting off huge chunks of hair, destroying it
beyond use. Of course, I couldn't let on how I felt, but I was
really sad for the poor thing. So, I'd go back and dress up later in
my room and be thankful for what I hd saved earlier.
Eventually
my mother graduated and opened her own beauty salon. Those times
were good for me because I was able to read the books she had about
cosmetics and hair styling. It made me realize just how much there
was to learn to look good as a woman. I still use the information I
learned back then in my dressing today.
Do you have a story you'd like to share about your experiences with crossdressing? Please send to cci@fws.net and we will consider adding your story to our site.
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