Name: Linda Lewis
Residence: Western Michigan
Height: 5' 8"
Measurements: 36-27-38, Sz: 10/12
Shoe size: 10
Shoe style: 3-4" pumps and boots
Perfume: Truly Lace
Movie: Star Trek 1-6, War of the Worlds
Music: Stevie Nicks, Classical
Place: Chicago, San Antonio
Turn-Ons: Beautiful lingerie and outfits; meeting
my sisters at events;
Turn-Offs: The negative attitudes society has, in
general, about crossdressing.
LadyLike: As with almost every crossdresser,
you started early with your sister's and mother's lingerie. You got
caught several times and were lectured about appropriate clothing for
boys. How did that make you feel and why did you keep going back?
Linda Lewis: My dressing began when
I was 8 or 9 years old. The items I started with were my mother's and
sister's bra and panties. I would take these out of the laundry and
sneak them back to my room where, after I went to bed, I would try them
on. Just wearing the bra and panties made me feel wonderful and happy.
I felt like I was just one of the girls. I would use rolled up socks
or T-shirts to fill out the bra. I didn't use makeup until I was in
My older sister eventually moved out, but she left a lot of
clothes behind. My parents packed them away in the basement. That was
when I finally got the rest of the clothes I wanted; skirts, blouses,
dresses, and lots of lingerie. My parents would find the clothes in
my room and take them back to the basement. Then I would be lectured
that it wasn't right for a boy to wear girl's clothes. I was never tild
why it wasn't right, but I had better stop it before something bad would
happen. I felt hurt and angry, but mostly confused because I couldn't
see why it was wrong.
I would try to do as I was told, but after a few weeks, I'd
get the urge and it would start all over again. I'd get the clothes
out of the basement, then my parents would find them again and I'd get
the lecture, etc. etc.
This was how my dressing went most of the time until I graduated
LL: Well, it does look as if all that reading
paid off. But, back to high school. After you graduated, you were caught
dressing again. What happened this time?
Linda L: I asked for a camera as a high school graduation
present from my parents. My best friend at school taught me how to develope
film and print pictures. So, after I learned how to use the camera,
I started taking B&W photos of myself dressed up. With money I earned
from working, I set up a darkroom in the basement.
I started dressing almost every night and took rolls and rolls
of pictures. Not all the pictures were good, but when I saw one I thought
was good enough, I'd print it and keep it. At one time, I had over 500
8x10s in my collection.
As you might guess, my parents found the pictures and all
Hell broke loose. My father wouldn't talk to me. My mother was hurt.
They decided I should see a psychologist. What hurt was that they didn't
tell me about the appointment, or that they'd told the psychologist
all about my earlier dressing. This was a real blow to my self-esteem.
Here was a stranger who knew about my secret life and he was going to
help me be rid of it.
I didn't care for the way he questioned me. We talked about
my sisters and if I was jealous of them and if I liked my parents. That
was it. I never went back again and I was angry with my parents.
But, I finally realized later that they did this out of love.
I don't know what the psychologist told them, but they finally stopped
asking what I was doing.
I felt alone after this. There wasn't a way for me to find
out why I dressed and why society felt it was wrong for males to do
this because there just wasn't any material on the subject in any of
the libraries. It was just "wrong" and we were as bad as criminals.
LL: How did it feel to finally get your own
place again and be able to set Linda free?
Linda L: I moved in with my sister and her family
for a few months until I could afford an appartment on my own. Finally,
though, I was on my own, to do as I pleased, and develop Linda.
Slowly, I replaced all the old clothes. I would wait months
to save enough money to buy what I wanted. I also got some padding for
my hips and real breastforms do Linda would have a more feminine figure.
I was still developing my own photos and I was pleased with
what I was seeing. After just a few years on my own, Linda had changed
into the person you see today.
LL: What about your relationship with your
family now? Any girlfriends?
Linda L: We have a silent understanding; we just
don't talk about it. I know that my mother still suspects I dress because
she notices things like my eyebrows. My father doesn't mention the past
and seems to accept me as I am. I help him whenever I can and I am "the
son" whenever I am with him. I hurt him enough before and I don't want
to again. We're good friends again.
I told my older sister about my dressing and that I'd been
doing it all along since we were children, She said that she suspected,
but didn't want to confront me. She's glad I told her, but she's not
ready to meet Linda yet.
My younger sister probably couldn't handle it because of her
own problems, so I probably won't tell her. She has a way of saying
exactly what's on her mind and I wouldn't want her telling strangers
that her brother wears women's clothes.
I haven't had much luck with girlfriends, and the few male
friends I have don't know about my crossdressing, so, no one knows about
Linda. I do find it lonely not being able to share Linda with someone
close to me, but that's my decision. Maybe that will change soon.
Linda L: I'd like to be able to
come and go from my apartment as Linda and go shopping or take in a
movie with my sister. I'd like to be able to go for a walk in the daytime
and be "ignored", that is to be accepted as the woman I appear to be.
I'd really like to share Linda with my parents and have them accept
that this is a part of me; that I'm still the same person they raised
and that I love them no matter what clothes I have on at the time. I'd
like to see society become more accepting of the crossdressing lifestyle
and to know that those who are crossdressers are really nice people
LL: Your mother sold cosmetics and eventually
went on to cosmetology school. Did this have any effect on your crossdressing?
Linda L: During my teens my mother
sold cosmetics door to door. She had a large case of samples to give
her customers. After a while, she'd have throw out old samples or discontinued
items. This was how I came by my first makeup items and how I started
experimenting with colors and clothes to see what looked good. I had
an old wig my mother used on Halloween, so I finally looked like a girl.
I wish I had some pictures from that time to see what I really looked
The cosmetics thing only last a few years and then my mother
went to cosmetology school to become a beautician. Part of the training
was hair styling and cutting which she did using old wigs she'd buy
at thrift stores. This is how I came to have my first really good wig.
I always wanted to be a blonde, so those were the wigs I'd look for
in the bunches she brought home. Sometimes she'd bring home a wig that
was just the right color and style I wanted, then, before my eyes, she'd
start cutting off huge chunks of hair, destroying it beyond use. Of
course, I couldn't let on how I felt, but I was really sad for the poor
thing. So, I'd go back and dress up later in my room and be thankful
for what I hd saved earlier.
Eventually my mother graduated and opened her own beauty salon.
Those times were good for me because I was able to read the books she
had about cosmetics and hair styling. It made me realize just how much
there was to learn to look good as a woman. I still use the information
I learned back then in my dressing today.
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