Name: Linda Lewis

Age: 35

Profession: Aviation

Residence: Western Michigan

Height: 5' 8"

Weight: 145#

Measurements: 36-27-38, Sz: 10/12

Shoe size: 10

Shoe style: 3-4" pumps and boots

Perfume: Truly Lace

Movie: Star Trek 1-6, War of the Worlds

Music: Stevie Nicks, Classical

Place: Chicago, San Antonio

Turn-Ons: Beautiful lingerie and outfits; meeting my sisters at events;

becoming Linda.

Turn-Offs: The negative attitudes society has, in general, about crossdressing.

 

 

  Linda Lewis: My dressing began when I was 8 or 9 years old. The items I started with were my mother's and sister's bra and panties. I would take these out of the laundry and sneak them back to my room where, after I went to bed, I would try them on. Just wearing the bra and panties made me feel wonderful and happy. I felt like I was just one of the girls. I would use rolled up socks or T-shirts to fill out the bra. I didn't use makeup until I was in my teens.

  My older sister eventually moved out, but she left a lot of clothes behind. My parents packed them away in the basement. That was when I finally got the rest of the clothes I wanted; skirts, blouses, dresses, and lots of lingerie. My parents would find the clothes in my room and take them back to the basement. Then I would be lectured that it wasn't right for a boy to wear girl's clothes. I was never tild why it wasn't right, but I had better stop it before something bad would happen. I felt hurt and angry, but mostly confused because I couldn't see why it was wrong.

  I would try to do as I was told, but after a few weeks, I'd get the urge and it would start all over again. I'd get the clothes out of the basement, then my parents would find them again and I'd get the lecture, etc. etc.

  This was how my dressing went most of the time until I graduated high school.

 

 

 

  Linda L: I asked for a camera as a high school graduation present from my parents. My best friend at school taught me how to develope film and print pictures. So, after I learned how to use the camera, I started taking B&W photos of myself dressed up. With money I earned from working, I set up a darkroom in the basement.

  I started dressing almost every night and took rolls and rolls of pictures. Not all the pictures were good, but when I saw one I thought was good enough, I'd print it and keep it. At one time, I had over 500 8x10s in my collection.

  As you might guess, my parents found the pictures and all Hell broke loose. My father wouldn't talk to me. My mother was hurt. They decided I should see a psychologist. What hurt was that they didn't tell me about the appointment, or that they'd told the psychologist all about my earlier dressing. This was a real blow to my self-esteem. Here was a stranger who knew about my secret life and he was going to help me be rid of it.

  I didn't care for the way he questioned me. We talked about my sisters and if I was jealous of them and if I liked my parents. That was it. I never went back again and I was angry with my parents.

  But, I finally realized later that they did this out of love. I don't know what the psychologist told them, but they finally stopped asking what I was doing.

  I felt alone after this. There wasn't a way for me to find out why I dressed and why society felt it was wrong for males to do this because there just wasn't any material on the subject in any of the libraries. It was just "wrong" and we were as bad as criminals.

  Linda L: I moved in with my sister and her family for a few months until I could afford an appartment on my own. Finally, though, I was on my own, to do as I pleased, and develop Linda.

  Slowly, I replaced all the old clothes. I would wait months to save enough money to buy what I wanted. I also got some padding for my hips and real breastforms do Linda would have a more feminine figure.

  I was still developing my own photos and I was pleased with what I was seeing. After just a few years on my own, Linda had changed into the person you see today.

  LL: What about your relationship with your family now? Any girlfriends?

  Linda L: We have a silent understanding; we just don't talk about it. I know that my mother still suspects I dress because she notices things like my eyebrows. My father doesn't mention the past and seems to accept me as I am. I help him whenever I can and I am "the son" whenever I am with him. I hurt him enough before and I don't want to again. We're good friends again.

  I told my older sister about my dressing and that I'd been doing it all along since we were children, She said that she suspected, but didn't want to confront me. She's glad I told her, but she's not ready to meet Linda yet.

  My younger sister probably couldn't handle it because of her own problems, so I probably won't tell her. She has a way of saying exactly what's on her mind and I wouldn't want her telling strangers that her brother wears women's clothes.

  I haven't had much luck with girlfriends, and the few male friends I have don't know about my crossdressing, so, no one knows about Linda. I do find it lonely not being able to share Linda with someone close to me, but that's my decision. Maybe that will change soon.

 

  Linda L: I'd like to be able to come and go from my apartment as Linda and go shopping or take in a movie with my sister. I'd like to be able to go for a walk in the daytime and be "ignored", that is to be accepted as the woman I appear to be. I'd really like to share Linda with my parents and have them accept that this is a part of me; that I'm still the same person they raised and that I love them no matter what clothes I have on at the time. I'd like to see society become more accepting of the crossdressing lifestyle and to know that those who are crossdressers are really nice people after all.

  Linda L: During my teens my mother sold cosmetics door to door. She had a large case of samples to give her customers. After a while, she'd have throw out old samples or discontinued items. This was how I came by my first makeup items and how I started experimenting with colors and clothes to see what looked good. I had an old wig my mother used on Halloween, so I finally looked like a girl. I wish I had some pictures from that time to see what I really looked like.

  The cosmetics thing only last a few years and then my mother went to cosmetology school to become a beautician. Part of the training was hair styling and cutting which she did using old wigs she'd buy at thrift stores. This is how I came to have my first really good wig. I always wanted to be a blonde, so those were the wigs I'd look for in the bunches she brought home. Sometimes she'd bring home a wig that was just the right color and style I wanted, then, before my eyes, she'd start cutting off huge chunks of hair, destroying it beyond use. Of course, I couldn't let on how I felt, but I was really sad for the poor thing. So, I'd go back and dress up later in my room and be thankful for what I hd saved earlier.

  Eventually my mother graduated and opened her own beauty salon. Those times were good for me because I was able to read the books she had about cosmetics and hair styling. It made me realize just how much there was to learn to look good as a woman. I still use the information I learned back then in my dressing today.